God's plan for me

Never in a million years would I have thought that one day I would have a close relationship with God. I now understand that God is now and not just when you get to heaven.

Filled with the Holy Spirit

Jesus came as God in the flesh to show us how to live our lives here on earth so that we would have the best life possible. Jesus was without sin that is why he was able to defeat Satan. Jesus had a body like us, he ate like us and slept like us and he face Satan like us to show us that man has dominion over the earth. Satan will never give up but as long as we have Jesus in our heart and soul, we can conquer anything Satan throws at us.

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Jesus is the light and Satan is darkness. I would have never understood any of this if I didn't ask God to come into my life. You have a choice. If you choose not to have God into your life, he will not come. However, that leaves you alone in the world to fight The King of Darkness, Satan and all his demonic forces. I experienced once so far what it is like to have the Holy Spirit fill me up and it was totally amazing. Choose the life that God designed for you. You will know what path you are on because you will be content and happy. When you are on the wrong path, you may get discouraged or depressed. You may allow yourself to do wrong things or maybe start using substances that will numb the pain or fear you are hiding from. Jesus is the light, Satan is darkness, choose the light. Ask God to come into your life today. Ask God to send the Holy Spirit to help you make the right choices. If you want it all, choose God. You don't have to belong to a certain religion or a certain church. Set yourself free of everyone else expectation and ask God to guide you. Learn about Jesus and how he lived his life while on earth.

God sent the Holy Spirit to be with us always, all you have to do is ask.

I have to share this with you because I can't help feeling God is telling me to tell the truth.

I'm so worried people will judge me or laugh at me or say something like, "oh, she thinks she has special connections with God" but today I've decided I am going to take my chances and tell you the truth.

Since I started seeking God's love at least 4 5 years ago, things have slowly gotten better in my life. I went from book and book about God to tape after tape, sermon after sermon and prayer after prayer. I was always waiting for a voice or a clear feeling that God is actually talking and it can't be anything else. Well, 5 years later and I'm still seeking and I'm still working on my relationship with God. I've experienced some amazing events since I've welcomed God into my heart and one day, I will tell them all. Events that I thought was God but wasn't sure but time and time again, they got stronger.

So let us get to what happened today.

I am renewing my vows this May 22, 2010. We are on a tight budget. My house needs cleaning and I need to look for a dress.

This Sunday I have a commitment at church and I will be there, the following Saturday is a Ham Supper fund raiser and I committed myself to that also to help, next day is church again. Somewhere in between working full time and full weekends, I need my whole house cleaned and organized for a house full of company coming to our wedding. I still haven't found a dress.

Last night April 20th, 2010 I got overwhelmed and said, forget it, I will go this Sunday to church but next weekend I am heading to Ottawa to help Amanda move then I'm going to look for a dress all day Sunday!

I am going to not help with the ham supper fund raiser on May 1st and I am not going to church on Sunday May 2nd. I need a dress that I can afford and I'm not buying it new, what are the chances Value Village will have a dress in my size in time for May!! Never mind I'd like it to be within my price range and lilac..ok, I'm pushing it..ok, I'll settle for size and price range!!

This morning, April 21, 2010 I woke up just after Glenn, so about 7:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep. Something was bothering me. So I get up, get on the computer, start replying to emails and find myself in disbelief about how I felt last night. Last night I felt used, worn out, torn between my needs and the church needs. This am, it was clear in my heart that the people of Cassburn united church needed my help and I will be there. That was it, no other thoughts or discussions or concerns, I was going and that was it. I decided to write to the organizer and make a commitment that she could rely on me for volunteering for the ham supper, May 1st!!

Did a bit of other stuff on the computer, went back to sleep. Woke in time to go to the gym and then to work.

Now because of my need to get a dress I got serious this week week looking online for dresses for sale in the Ottawa area. Every day I searched kijiji and ebay, and just a google search. Lots of dress! Not my size or way too expensive, not my color. Dress after dress. Very discouraging. Just kept searching and refreshing because daily these sales change.

Now comes today, April 21, 2010

I'm looking on line like I did Monday Tuesday now Wednesday the same links as above, I click on page 2 and there it is!

I see a dress that looks lilac (my wedding theme) my heart get excited, this person has 4 dresses, one in size 14 and the rest in size 10. I usually take a 16 but because I've lost weight I may fit into a 14. Not only is the dress the perfect color it is my size. Ok, what's the price? Every dress I've seen so far has been higher than $150.00, this one, $60.00now I'm getting pumped because this is not real. I look to see where this person lives, and they are on my way home in Rockland! I emailed the person because now.doubt is sayingit's soldcalm downshe emails me right back and give me her ph#. I call on my break and unreal as I write this now, I am overwhelmed to hear that the dress has not sold, it is not stained, it is lilac and it was made for her bridesmaid and it was only worn once. I am going to see the dress tomorrow and I will have faith that God arranged this all to happen. Is that amazing or what!! Right color, right size, right price and right location and it's still for sale.

I am feeling so strongly that God just said to me,you do my work (helping others) and I'll take care of you. You Brenda, take care of my people, and I Brenda will take care of you. God is the creator and nothing is impossible with God. If you know me, you knowI would never lie or make this up. God is real and he wants to have a relationship with us. It wasn't a voice saying "Brenda, I am Godetc." But the second I saw the dress, the feeling I had inside of me was indescribable. I can't explain it or describe it other than tell you with all my heart, God is real, he is there for us. We have to take care of his sheep and he will take care of us. We will all get what we need if we focus on what God would want us to do instead of worrying about self. I know God's work is behind this, I am testifying to the world, I believe in God and the son of God Jesus Christ. Not just because of what has happened today, but because of what has happened to me since the day I asked Christ to come to live inside my heart, and truly meant it.

May you feel the spirit of God in your heart and live in peace.

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